Women are from Venus

Subject: Women are from Venus Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:11 am

We all know that we women are completely different from men. We have to deal with so much including hormones, pregnancy, and the montly visits of Aunt Flo. So this is a special room for when we loose our cool. It's got thick padded walls so no one can hurt themselves, and it's soundproofed so the men won't wonder who we're murdering. And there are special intercoms ((your posts)) so we can communicate with each other, providing comfort and support. You can even have your FCs vent here if they've got feminine issues. After all, we women have to stick together.

Subject: Re: Women are from Venus Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:42 am

WHY CAN'T MY PERIOD EVER FOLLOW A SCHEDULE!? IT"S ALWAYS FREAKING MESSED UP D:<

and because this thread just needs it:

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core

or Dri-Weave

absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you f swearing

ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls swearing

. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Posts : 2 Join date : 2009-11-29

LADIES, I AM SO SICK OF THIS, AN' I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE, BUT THE S**T JUST HIT THE FAN!!!

I AM SO F***ING TIRED OF EVERY TIME I GO IN PUBLIC THERE'S GOTTA BE THAT ONE GUY STARIN' AT ME LIKE I HAVE TWO HEADS.

WHAT THE F**K YOU LOOKIN' AT??

YEAH I BET YOU'D LIKE IT IS A BUCH O' WOMEN WERE STARIN' AT YOU, WITH YER F***IN' RED NON-FITTING TOQUE AN' YER BAGGY A** PANTS THAT SHOW YOUR F**IN' BOXERS PULL YER G*DD**N PANTS UP YOU AIN'T HOT S**T YER JUST COLD DIARRHEA!

D**N.

THIS IS WHY I HAVE STARTED TO WEAR REALLY REALLY F***IN' MODEST CLOTHES LATELY.

F***IN' GOTTA DRESS LIKE THE D**N GOLDEN GIRLS EVERY TIME I GO IN THE G*DD**N WALMART CUZ SUM D**K WITH A F***IN' MISSING TOOTH AN' HALF A BALD HEAD GOTTA BE STARIN' AT MY A**!!!!!!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: Re: Women are from Venus Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:03 pm

shame you can't kick his b swearing

s